Tonight is a shownight

So far I've managed to sleep around 2 hours last "night", from 10:30 to 12:30. Fucking awesome... Well, at least my brother-from-another-mother, my BFF if you will, will be attending the show. That means terror, mayhem and more drinks than you can count. Fuck it, I'll sleep when I'm dead.

This blog

Is getting way too many hits recently, I'm getting scared. Or maybe I should be flattered, the fuck do I know.

My sleep cycle is starting to be the epitome of rock n' roll again, going to sleep around 08:00 and waking up at 17:00. Sounds healthy...

Tomorrow it's again a showday with Mr.T, which is nice. Also have to start making some recording schedule for the acoustic album now that the cat's out of the bag, so to speak. Which is probably a good thing, since without deadlines my working is hopeless and Timo doesn't seem much better at it either. Been only planning the album for almost two years now. Well, I guess now the time is right, so rock the acoustic, or something to that extent :)

I think...

I think I might've used all the hangovers reserved for me for this life. Definately should have one today, but no, nothing, nada. Feel totally fine although I drank a bottle of Jallu last night + some beers & rum. Oh well...

Sang some karaoke as well. After that a guy came to tell me I sound just like Timo Kotipelto and then proceeded to ask if I know who Tony Kakko is. I lol'd pretty hard :)

The Wizard...

...of Oz motherfuckers!

More hats

Today

Today I'm a walking amusement park and an entertainment center for the whole family. If this bugs you I suggest you fuck off.

17:11

Is a fine time to start drinking.

My appreciation...

... On some people just gets lower and lower. Begs the question "what the fuck was I thinking back then?"....

Acoustic album

Ok, as Timo published this already and it was also featured in the Finnish media (fast work fuckers), we are recording an acoustic album together. More of it later :)

Transformers

Watched "Transformers:Dark of the Moon" recently, and MY GOD did it suck! I thought there was no way it could be worse than the "Revenge of the Fallen". I was wrong. Always nice to see Michael Bay take a shit all over my childhood heroes. It beats the hell out me how this talentless hack is still making movies, let alone how that fucking abomination of a movie is the FOURTH HIGHEST GROSSING MOVIE OF ALL TIME! What the fuck??? This fucker has made ONE (1) good movie that I know of, and judging from his latter works I assume he had very little to do with the greatness that is "The Rock". <-Killer soundtrack on that one btw.

Also watched "X-Men:First Class" again. Still the best X-Men movie so far. Liked it a lot, still.

Quote of the day:

"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on"

Tru dat

Been there, done that, many many times.

New look

Was trying something new earlier this week. Meet the new me, J-Li the rapper.

FML

One of those days folks. Someone managed to bring me down again, and also my mac is fucking dead, I think the graphics card died... Merry fucking christmas to me, greetings from the gutter!

Quote of the day:

"She's the kind of girl a guy meets when he's too young and he fucks up because there's too much looting left to do"

Queen

Watched "Queen:Days of Our Lives"-documentary last night. Highly recommend it, even if you don't care for the band that much.

Quote of the day:

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"

Quote of the day:

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one"

3 movies last night

Well, two and a half to be exact, as I didn't finish one. First was I Love You Phillip Morris, which was decent, not too great (aside from the cursing scene that really made me laugh: FUCK ME WITH A FLAMING FIST!)

The second one was Gladiator, which was still fricking awesome.

The third, which I didn't finish, was Batman XXX: a Porn Parody. It's something you have to see to believe, although if you watch it and get turned on I think there's something fundamentally wrong with you :) I believe this was first time in my personal history when I thought a porn movie had too much porn and too little plot :)

Quote of the day:

"Despite all evidence to the contrary, I am a gentleman"

Guess what I am doing?

Hyvä kun tulit, saatana...

Cheers mates!

I'm such a rebel... 

Why? Because I fucking can, that's why! 

If you don't like it you can suck my cock.

"Quote" of the day:

The more that I gave the less I received, it's all for them and none for me.

Backstage in eura

Sitting here, drinking coffee (yep...) , rehearsed some new songs, now bored as hell. I hate waiting, hate it, hate it...

Brotip:

Quote of the day:

"People hate what they can't conquer, envy what they can't get, and destroy what the already have."

Just some crap from the past week or so (who's counting?)

Hello folksies!

So, on sunday I arrived to tampere, as on saturday me and Mr.T decided we should go and see Nightwish on sunday. We did, and in hindsight that might've been a mistake :)

Anywho... arrived to tampere, took a room from a hotel and went to Kustaa III only to notice that Minna was working. She told me she had planned to have some sparkly later with her friend and then go to sleep early, but since I came to town plans tend to chance. Went to the hotel to have a shower and a shave, you know, hygiene and stuff. Then back to Kustaa III where Wille was now behind the bar desk, trying to get me to drink some Jallu. I resisted the temptation (at least at that time). Mr. T came to pic me up and we went to see the NW show. which I thought was decent.

Rock

Just because I am so FUCKING important...

Didn't actually even bother going backstage, so the AAA was kinda useless. We left the venue before the last song so we wouldn't be stuck in the masses and the traffic later. Went back to Kustaa III, where Minna and her friend were already waiting, happily intoxicated. Especially Minna, which I found to be hilarious, as usually it's her taking care of me when I'm hammered in tampere:)

Sat around for a while, had a beer or two, still easily the most sober of the bunch, aside from Mr.T who was driving, and sick, and of course Mr.W who was working hard on making the rest of us drunk. I think it was already around 01:00 or so when we decided to go to Jack the Rooster again. Mr.T decided to not to join as he was feeling (and looking) really sick. So suddenly I noticed I was walking the streets of tampere with 3 attractive women while slightly drunk but not wasted. Good times :)

We made sure no one hit their heads or broke any ribs this time and made it to JtR everyone in one piece and bones intact. There I made two mistakes, one is I mentioned to Minna's friend that I find it funny Minna is way more drunk that me. She looked at me, going "Now you told that to the wrong person". For the rest of the night she made me have 2 shots while they had one...

The second mistake was running into Emppu, more shots, hugs and laughs. Gotta love the guy :)
The rest of the night is pretty much history. Woke up safely in my own hotel room, Timo called and we agreed to meet at Kustaa III (yes, I go there a lot when in tampere). Had some coffee, was joined by some acquaintances from last night. Went to eat with a party of 10 or so people, had lots of fun. I decided to stay in tampere for one more night, ended up going bar hopping with Wille and some other dudes and dudettes. No major malfunctions that night. Actually ended up staying for 2 more nights, went singing karaoke on tuesday after pestering Minna for 5 hours in her workplace, that was shitloads of fun as well :)

 Wasn't actually feeling like hundred bucks when I woke up at 10:00am yesterday to make my trip to helsinki. Made it ok, felt like shit the whole day though. The concert had an all-star cast, played 3 acoustic songs with Timo there, and I don't remember when I would've been that nervous during a show, my hands were shaking and I felt like I was gonna fall of my chair. Maybe it was just delirium. Should still drink less.

Michael Monroe was the last performer of the night, and damn were they good! Great to see guys that age rock out like that, I still have a long way to go apparently :)

Bunch of old farts showing show it's actually done :)

After Monroe finished it was already past midnight, so it was technically already Timo's birthday. You all know what that means...

Actually we just went to Ilves to have one beer and came back to Timo's and had some drinks here. Again, good times:) Not gonna comment on the night too much, except that you really should see Mr.T do one of his dances, I laughed so hard I almost fell from the couch :)

And now it's 13:31, 15th of March, 2012 Anno Domini, and I am STILL alive... Damn...

Quote of the day:

"A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it"

Coffee @ Ilves

Sitting in Ilves, sipping some coffee, waiting for Timo & Jukka Wahlsten. Playing a few songs tonight at Tavastia to honour the late great Pokla, who sadly passed away few weeks ago.

Feeling a bit shaky, should drink less...

Päiväkännit

Zapadapa

So...

A gay guy just told me I have a beautiful nose. I guess I'm flattered :)

04:09

Show's done, the drinks have been drank, I'll go to sleep now. The show was fine, had fun.

Here's a song for you folks, heard it the first time this week, liked it a lot:

Years go by, you learn. Oh fuck how you learn...

Sex, drugs & rock n roll

Of course the sex was a solo act, the drug was caffeine and the rock was Barry Manilow. Otherwise a solid effort.

Swallow my cum

Swallow The Sun

Quote of the day:

"A friend to all is a friend to none."

I'm on a diet...

Tomorrow

...I shall meet Petri, a wonderful human being and a guitarist for Altaria. I think it might end up being a drinking night, as Swallow The Sun is playing in Nosturi, and their drummer Kai, also a wonderful human being, asked if I'd come to see the show. Have to be careful though, as we have a show with Timo on saturday. As if I'd ever...

 

Quote of the day

"I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies."

Easy wine

Easy Wyne white wine, packed on a single serving plastic cup. Probably the best wine in the world...

Weekend

So, the weekend was interesting to say the least. Didn't hit anyone and didn't fuck anyone, so I guess nothing too bad happened. To me that is.

On friday we drove to tampere with my comrade Mr.T to play the show. We went to set up the gear, hooked up with some friends and went bowling. Met two new fellows there, Antti and Petri I guess were their names,  Antti is the ratamestari (I don't know the english word for that, it's the guy who takes care of the lanes in the bowling alley) of the place we went to and Petri is a bowler on the national championship level. Needless to say I didn't have anything against those guys, but I won our "amateur" series (Me, Timo, Wille & Minna). Actually I kinda also won Antti, as he said he'd give me an advantage of 100 points, and he only won me by 30 points or so. Too bad we didn't bet on anything.

Mr.T and Antti, still with ribs intact

Well, anywho... We played the show, which was a blast, and went out and about like usual. Nothing too rowdy mind you, just hanging. When walking from Kustaa III where Wille works to Jack The Rooster, which is a nice bar in tampere, Antti slips on the ice and falls. Badly. He's unconscious and his head is bleeding. We call for ambulance and Wille says me and Timo should go ahead, as it's pretty cold and there's nothing we can do there anyway.

We went on to Jack The Rooster and were later joined by Wille and Minna. Drank some jallu, met some people, good times. Got some pizza on the way and went to sleep at W&M's place. Woke up with a slight headache, but probably not as bad as Antti. He sent a message in the morning to Minna that he woke up in the hospital with stitches in his head and some broken ribs. These things happen when you roll with us :) I proceeded to facerape Minna (if you don't know what that is google it, it's not as bad as it sounds:) ), she went to work and me, Mr.T and Mr.W went to eat. Did some shopping later and then we left for kuortane, where we were playing that night.

One has to love people in small places like kuortane. We played there about one and a half years ago, which I remember very vividly as my grandfather was hospitalized then and died shortly after. When we were there the first time we tried to go bowling as well, but all the lanes were booked, so we couldn't do it. Well, this time we went to eat in the restaurant adjacent to the bowling alley and thought we'd go ask if there's any lanes free that night. The guy said that he has been sparing one lane for us as he heard that we were coming to town. Fuck what a memory and what a service, so nice people! We bowled with Mr.T , I won.

The show was not very good, the audience was ok but we were both kinda "off", dunno why. These things happen, can't be awesome all the time. After the show we drove back to lappajärvi, as it was less than an hour to drive here, turned on the sauna and started drinking some jallu and smoking some cigars, as I posted earlier.

Had awesome time and ended up pretty damn hammered, listening to this on volume that would kill mere mortals. Woke up after six in the evening today, way to go our team. We were supposed to get some work done today, but somehow that didn't happen :)

I'll remedy that tomorrow, now I think I have to catch some sleep again. Didn't have a real hangover for some reason, would've definitely deserved one, but I am tired as hell. Fuck the Metal!

I have a lot...

of pictures from last night showing what actually happened. Most of them can't be posted here without getting my blog banned....

18:13...

And I just woke up... Jallubileet ftw!

Jallubileet

Quote of the day:

"MY COCK!"

(Too bad the layout has some limitations, I wanted to make it bigger)

Working hard / hardly working

Tired...

Been staring at the screen and writing new songs for 5 days straight now, around 12h a day. I feel pretty damn exhausted, but also very happy with what we've done. Tomorrow it's time to leave lappajärvi and go rock out with our cocks out. I think I need it at this point. Winding down with some cognac now, tomorrow it'll be out of the writing mode and into the rocking mode. See you on the road, or in your dreams. As Mr. T says, "Rock the Metal"!

Moment in time

I come from our "studio" and sit down by the kitchen table and say "I don't know where the song should go from there". Mr. T smiles and pours me a glass of Jaloviina and says "I'm pretty sure we will figure it out very soon". Gotta love our working methods :)

Jani's songwriting workshop, part 3: Lyrics

Also known as "You're a poet and you didn't even know it":

So, lyrics. The part where you're supposed to pour your heart and soul on the paper, or in these days most likely on the computer screen (that's how I roll folks). The good news is you can pretty much write about anything. The bad news is it doesn't matter. People don't seem to really give a shit about what is sung, as long as the tune is catchy (I'm temped to quote the Rebecca Black song here, but I'll resist the temptation. You know what I'm talking about), so just give yourself a break and write some platitudes about love and all that crap. People love to listen to songs about love because they think they can relate to the lyrics. They can't, they're just stupid.

Here's some tips for all you aspiring poets:

Fire rhymes with desire

Night rhymes with fight

Orange rhymes with... Well, don't use that word.

Update

Yo yo yo, wazzup my niggas?

Oh fuck, I said the N-word, I guess I'm screwed now... Lucky for me I don't give a rats ass, so on with the show:

You guys and gays might've noticed that I haven't been posting quite as often as I used to. The reason is not that I don't love you anymore, because I never did, the reason is that I've been quite busy staring at the screen showing Logic and all kinds of funny plugins and different colored squares and shit, for around 12h+ each day. In other words, writing some new music.

Been working with Timo now for a couple of days here in lappajärvi, and we've written some pretty cool stuff that actually sounds fresh to my ears, not the same crap I've always done. Hopefully you guys get to hear it at some point. Songwriting can be pretty damn awesome sometimes.

I don't really have any news to share with you at the moment, so I guess I'll wrap this up by saying that I haven't forgotten you. I'll get back to my jallukola now and try to catch some shuteye after that. Tomorrow is another day of notes and chords and riffs and melodies. Still they beckon me, my one true love that will always be by my side.

Yeah, that was so fucking poetic I actually puked a bit in my mouth. Tastes like jallukola...

Jani's songwriting workshop, part 2 : Solos

Also known as Jani's essay on guitar solos:

99.9% of them are completely useless waste of time, no one cares. So, don't do them. Just write a good song instead.